Title: Loving Kindness for the Ones We Want to Leave Out. Excerpt from Sunday Dhamma Group....You can give loving kindness above and below and all around. Sometimes you imagine yourself maybe in the center of the earth, and then you focus on all beings everywhere. After that, you focus on the beings you don’t like… or the ones who don’t like you. You wish loving kindness for them too. Then you return again to all beings, wishing loving kindness to the whole world without excluding anyone. Actually, it becomes easier to wish loving kindness to difficult beings because first you were already opening the mind to the whole world. The mind becomes softer and more flexible. It’s a little bit like Christmas. I remember I went for alms in Hawaii, and there was one person there who really didn’t like me at all. He asked what I was doing, and I told him, “I’m wishing loving kindness and collecting food.” He said, “I like what you’re doing, but I think you’re the devil, and you’re not getting any food at my house.” So I asked him, “Is it okay if I still wish loving kindness for your house?” And he said, “Yes, yes, you can do that. Just stay on the road and don’t come onto my property.” Later I found out he was a policeman and simply didn’t know who I was or what I was doing. His father once offered me food if I worked in the garden, but I explained that monks aren’t allowed to do that. He just shrugged and said, “Okay, whatever.” Whenever I walked that road, I would sometimes walk one side, sometimes the other, sometimes zigzagging back and forth. But every single time I came to his house, I made a point to stop and wish loving kindness there. Then one day, it happened to be Christmas. We don’t stop going for alms on holidays. We need food every day. I even went for alms during a hurricane once, with all the windows boarded up. So on Christmas Day I was out there again. The family was outside with their children playing with new toys. I stood maybe twenty feet away because I didn’t want to interrupt their Christmas moment, and quietly wished loving kindness. Then the father saw me and called out, “Hey! Do you like quiche?” I said, “Yeah sure,” because I like anything. He said, “Hold on, I’ll get you something.” And he brought me food. Why? Because it was Christmas, and he felt that Christmas spirit. Even though they didn’t really like me very much, on that day their hearts opened. I think it had been about six months of standing in front of that house wishing loving kindness before that happened. I still remember the meal: quiche, green beans, and papaya on a paper plate. This is why we practice loving kindness. We develop that spirit toward all beings. First we include the whole world. Then we include the difficult beings. And after that, when we return again to wishing loving kindness for all beings, we know we really mean all beings — because we already included the ones we normally would want to leave out. This is how we begin breaking down separation and barriers.

This is a Dhamma Talk I gave at Wat Khao Sanamachai about Kauai, alms and how loving-kindness wins battles. It is translated into Thai by a Lao monk who lives there. The full story can be seen at http://subhuti.withmetta.net/2015/11/26/676/